((((((((brokenheart1))))))))) I'm so sorry that you don't have a family that you can talk to, that will listen to you. I'm so sorry you have grown up without hugs. Is there anyone at all that you can talk to IRL about what's going on? Can you give us some more information when you say no one will understand what's going on? We have a very diverse group of people here, someone may be going or have gone through something similar. Is it possible that your situation will change soon, as you wish for? Please know that you are not alone as long as you are here, and I know it's not the hugs you were wishing for but....