welcome to psych central, billie brown!!! i'm glad you found us! having gone through what you have i just want to acknowledge your frustration and pain. i recall getting so angry everytime the depression would rear it's ugly head (again) even though i too was doing all the things suggested to me to have a life. i felt as though i wasn't directing my destiny but the depression was! talking about it does help, so glad you posted to let us know what's going on with you right now.
there is good news (too!!) however...do you realize how resilient and strong you are to keep at this to get it done right??? i had to do the same and it paid off bigtime. just keep doing the good stuff you mentioned and post as needed because we care about you. ..and goodness knows we do understand how you are feeling.