No... struggling, upset, hurt, wanting help...
Do you have a T... if not, please consider getting one? I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now and I wish I could give you some advice
Please don't blame yourself for last night... if you must ten blame yourself and move on. Last night you can not change... use it as a kind of 'experience'... from now on you can say to yourself, never again do I want that to happen.

Take care ((((((TPND))))) sorry I couldn't help much... always here to listen,
Molly