Ry, you sound so much like me. I feel bad if I say that I'm struggling, because there's no reason for me to be. But last week was really hard, and I really wanted to cut. In the past, I definitely would have, but this time I came online and looked for someone to talk to. That may be the first time I have done that when I really felt like cutting, so it isn't fair for me to get preachy about it or anything. I just know it helped me this time. We all have to start controlling those urges sometime, and it takes false starts too. Don't worry about what happened - just go on and when it comes around again, do your best.
((((hugs)))))
Wendy