I'm so sick of all these cycle changes. A week ago Thursday I was extremely depressed and suicidal. The next day the suicidal urges were gone but left me with the severe depression. That lasted a week, then last Friday it changes to extreme rapid-cycling, leaving me not knowing from one minute to the next where I was. Today I actually started to feel good. I knew I shouldn't have trusted that would last. I read an e-mail from my sister about 1/2 hr ago. When I was going through the rapid cycling, I sent an e-mail to all my family instructing them to not phone me and that I wouldn't answer the phone. I just couldn't deal with anything other than trying to find some way controlling the roller coaster of mood changes several times a day, sometimes only minutes before the shift to the opposite end of the spectrum would take place.

Anyway, back to the e-mail. My sister forwards to me, an e-mail that she sent to my brother who had previously e-mailed her wanting to know what was going on with me. She explained rapid cycling to him as best as she could. WTF??? Can my brother not e-mail me himself and ask me??? First my brother won't talk with me on the phone, now he won't e-mail me? Am I not to have a relationship with my brother anymore because he doesn't know anything about BP and is afraid of me? For God's sake, I don't f'ing bite!!! WTF is he so afraid of?

So much for feeling good.