I have trouble remembering actually being abused. I remember some instances but most of my memories are of being incredibly fearful of being on the receiving end of abuse. I have clear memories of my childhood friend suffering serious abuse. I can assume that what was done to her was likely at the very least also attempted with me, I was younger-- but there witnessing it.

My T suggested that when young children witness abuse and are traumatized and afraid it will happen to them these emotions get stored as if it was actually them who was being abused. However the memory of the actual event isn't there because it didn't actually happen to them in the 1st person.

Not sure if that is what you are talking about.
For me this seems to muddy things. First I don't like to admit to being a victim because I don't like the image my mind creates. Second, I am always questioning if I have a REAL reason to react the way I do to certain things. I feel like I am being a baby or that I am making up my drama. Both of these are stupid, but .... that's what I am in therapy for.