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Dec 08, 2008, 11:42 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 13
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TRIGGER WARNING
 THE BRAIN IS SO OVERWHEMLED WHERE TO START.......... NON STOP RACING IMAGES AND THOUGHTS I CANT EVEN KEEP UP WITH ALL OF THEM... AARRRGHH... I HAVE NO AMBITION OR MOTIVATION I FIND EVERYDAY SIMPLE TASK DREADFUL AND GRUELING. EVERY MORNING WHEN I WAKE UP, I WAKE WITH NAUSEA, ANXIETY, SHAKING, IMMENSE PHYSICAL PAIN, CRAZY UNCONTROLABLE THOUGHTS OF HANGING MYSELF ( NO I DONT HAVE A PLAN AND IT IS NOT WHAT I REALLY WANT ) AND MY BRAIN WONT STOP IT JUST GOES AND GOES AND GOES I THINK ABLUT ALL THE TASKS AT HAND AND A MILLION MILES PER HOUR. UNTIL FINALLY I BECOME HOPLESS AND SO OVERWHELMED I CAN EVEN GET MYSELF OUT OF MY BED. I JUT GO BACK TO SLEEP AND ACCOMPLISH NOTHING, AND THEN I BEAT MYSELF UP FOR BEING A LAZY *****. IF I STAY AWAKE IM CRYING UNCONTRALLBLY OR IM JUST DULL BLAH NO EMOTIONS.. THIS VISCOUS CYCLE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!! I TRY TO CHANGE MY THOUGHT PROCESS BUT IT SEEMS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! I CANT EVEN KEEP UP WITH MY BRAIN TO TYPE THIS THREAD.... GRRR.... ANY SUGGESTIONS?????
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