You sound very hurt, that's sad. Not all people are bad & some honour does survive in this world. Even in the darkest moments better times call across our lives. In enduring holding on to ourselves only stronger can be. There are moments in this world of great beuty, love & grace that make a soul. Also such awsome emptyness can swallow the spirit in horror. It's the interplay of the drama our beings are tested & questioned buy our actions as to our own morality. Hang in there one hopes & survive for another day.