I like your idea of telling them IRL that it's so much more than depression. Who would oyu tell? Maybe you could make a list of as many people as you feel comfortable with. Even if it's only 1, that's one more person to help you. Chrise, I worry about you, hon. You are very important. Please don't feel like you're alone in this. Remember, though, that we here can only do so much, the rest needs to be done irl, so please contact someone about this and tell them how truly serious the problem is. Keep posting and know that we care.