I'm 42 years old and have never been in love. I don't even think I'm capable. Not mature enough probably. And now I am not even the slightest bit interested in ever having a romantic relationship for the rest of my life.
Yes, I've been in lots romantic relationships and lots of sex. Plenty. However the last two were both long and both abusive. The last one was very abusive, and sexually too. So, that's why I am not interested in relationships or sex. No drive at all. I've been single three years and I don't see that changing.
Anyway, I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I've lived my whole life without that kind of love. It seems a waste. Like a life less lived or something.
And ashamed I am too immature to be capable of it.
Still not interested though.
Actually, not interested in friendship either. My people phobia is in HIGH gear.
But cyber friends are great!!!