hmmm ...

Hi Kyle - it's nice to meet you, although, I'm sorry your having trouble with your girlfriend. I take it that you're still in high school which means you still have your whole life ahead of you. And I do want to appauld your decision to not allow your personal problems to damage your school work Bravo!

Before I give my opinion, I'd like to tell you a little about me (I know this is supposed to be about you, but trust me - I know what I'm doing - ok?) and that way you can perhaps understand how and why I see things as I do.

I'm divorced - several years now, and have always had (for some strange reson) terrible taste in women. In school, I had girlfriends, even one everyone thought I would marry, but for some reson we broke up at the end of our senior year.

I dated my wife to be for two years and thought I knew her pretty well. But here's the thing - a person never truly knows another unless both are honest. That's something I've found to seldom happen.

My wife and I were married for over five years so all in all, we knew each other for over seven years. In that time - I was myself and was honest with who I am (or was - heck, these days, I'm really not sure I know who I am, or even if it is even important now), but the thing is, she (my wife) wasn't honest.

And when people aren't honest (especially in a serious relationship), or when people are playing games - things are not likely to last.

In my observations - most people fall in lust with one another (thinking they are in love - this happens a lot with younger people) and they take a big plunge (marriage) and once the lust or the newness wears off - they realize that they don't love that person - heack, they may not even like that person!

And when that happens, usually the girl is pregant or already given birth, and they go their seperate ways. Please forgive me - I'm not trying to be negative here, but rather, trying to be realistic. Even the stats on marriages show half of all marriages fail and I'm sure the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is even worst.

So, getting back to your post Kyle, you stated, "Well last week she fooled around with her ex." Being the kind of guy I am - (since I've been lied to, and she has cheated in our relationship with both men and women), I am very watchful of the women in my life, and would have a very hard time trusting any girl/woman that would fool around with her ex when she was in a relationship with me.

Next, you again stated, "and that night she told me she liked me again.". Sweetie - if she can change her way of liking you to hating you to liking you so fast - run like hell away from her. That's something you don't need in your life right now.

And then, you stated,"The next day she fooled around with him again". Well, it is pretty oblivous she isn't what one would call a "Lady", but if this is true, you definately don't need her.

And I know well how the mind can tell you one thing (like to do the right thing) and the heart tell you to do what would make you feel better (even if only till the next day, because we all knopw when the next day comes, she's going to be fooling around with her ex again). But take my advice sweetie because I know - I've been there. Take care of you - you don't need that kind of girl. And you will get over her and in time when it is right - you will find that one girl that is right for you. One that will stick with you like glue, and not want to be with any other.

Concentrate on your schooling so you can prepare yourself for a family - get that nice job (after college or vocational school) and then you will be able to take care of the family you and that special girl will have.

Now, maybe my rely here was somewhat strong, but it is for a very good reason - if she is so willing to swing back and forth between you and her ex - you are getting the short end of the deal and I think you deserve someone that will meet you 50 - 50. That, and like you and love you all the time and not be so willing to change her mind on whims.

In your other post - you said you knew what you did wrong? hmmm ... this girl changes her liking you to hating you to liking you again and back tohating you - this girl that keeps going back to her ex? This girl that doesn't want you talking about how she is fooling around on you? And on her ex? Is he really her ex?

Forget her. Do it now because it isn't near as bad as being married to her, and having to divorce her. It would really be bad then.

You need someone that will treat you as she would like to be treated - someone that will be honest with you - someone that thinks you are her center - her reason for being.

I don't know if anything I said will be helpful to you, but it was given in hopes of helping. If at times, I seemed bitter - please accept my apology. But boy oh, do I ever wish someone had given me this talk so many years ago.

Best of luck to you,

Sam