I also worry about what T thinks sometimes. Not so much of me, but of the things I'm saying. Sometimes the words "what do you think?" spill out and I get the dreaded "what I think doesn't matter". Although it's not exactly what I want to hear, it is also soothing and reassuring to hear him say that. It means that he is not judging me but accepting me as I am.

As for how long will I be in T, I'm not sure. Good luck getting getting them to commit to a time frame. Once T told me that I was "overdue" for therapy but also earlier this year when I was considering moving he told me that I shouldn't consider T as a factor for not moving. So a bit of a mix message there. I'm very screwed up in many ways, T knows that, I know that. He told me the same thing someone has mentioned here, that it took a long time to do the damage and many years of living with the defenses that the hurt created, so it will take a long time to heal.