stupified1313
You made a start by reaching out into this forum for advice and help and that's a great thing and there are so many people that will offer you advice good advice and heaps of it. So take heart that in there somewhere you will find something that is right for you . Even if it is just a distraction from the day to day routine at least it will be something to build on.
The cycle of up and down and feeling low CAN be stopped and believe it or not a more "normal" pattern of life obtained.
I hope you will take what everyone else has said to heart and find some comfort