HI Eva. I can certainly relate to your story. Was Agoraphobic for 11 years, have been panic free now for 15 years (with the help of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, positive self talk, and meds). I think we all fear "going back" - but you know what - we won't, because we learned what was wrong with us, learned coping skills that we can still use etc. Do you have a "safe person" who can help you with things like crossing the street? They could go with you several times, staying right by your side, then try it with them a few steps behind you etc , then a few more steps behind.

You state that you had to push yourself the last time you had this going on, perhaps with the help of a friend (or child or significant other), you can push again.

After I was inpatient, I went back to college and became an In Vivo Therapist (as well as getting Psych degree) and I take people out to places they fear almost everyday and help them work thru it. We use relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, and wonderful little 3x5 cards with "rational self talk statements". You CAN get better again ! Keep on haning in there ! You can contact me at imsuesue2001@yahoo.com if you want.