oh turqsea,  . we are often times so hard on ourselves yet so forgiving to others. know that you are part of a greater universe and worthy. be gentle to yourself. treat yourself as you would a good friend who was feeling so down on herself. i'm sure you would want her to feel better about herself and give her comforting words. try to do that to/for yourself. ..and know that we care and know you are a person of value.
i am sorry you are feeling so sad. you can start your day all over whenever you choose and make it a brighter, sunnier one.. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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