I don't feel guilty for the actual abuse because I know I was too young to stop it etc, I just feel guilty for letting it destroy me like this, you know? It isn't mainly guilt that I feel, it's just a small part of it. Mainly I feel afraid, scared, and I fear I will never get through it...all I see ahead of me is this fear and darkness...It makes me really upset, I'm teary now as I type...It takes a lot to be so honest as I have been here and it does stir the emotions...makes me upset.

I have an eating disorder that has been triggered by this recent depression, I had it a few years ago but had dealt with it...so I'm upset that it has come back and it makes it harder to deal with, that stirs that guilt feeling too.

I find things like Christmas really triggering, mainly I think because I used to love it so much and usually make a big deal over it but this year I feel so bad.