I feel like I do need to be happy for christmas, for my family. My family have had a rough few years and they are being so supportive with my depression lately. Although I haven't told them about the abuse, I have told them I am depressed and they are all being great, which is good...maybe that's part of my guilt, I am guilty that I am with-holding the truth...but I will never tell them about it. I love and respect them too much to tell them.

I wish I could say I agree about feeling good about it, I sometimes feel good about it, but most of the time I feel negative, you know?

And yeah, I think the eating is down to a control, that and once my T said that it is a way of my body dealing with the trauma, that I am unable to process any physical food because emotionally I am processing so much, if that makes sense?