Hi jmo,

I'd like to make a practical point about your experience with the company rep.

In a situation like that, where a rep isn't helping you, they know full well that they are not helping you. They are covering their own tracks.

From a point of view of personal psychology I've found that as soon as you know that a person is deliberately blocking you, there is no point in pursuing a reasonable argument with them. They are not on your side. It looks like both you and your boss needed this person to help you out, and this wasn't going to happen.

The trick in keeping down your own stress is to realise as early as possible when you are being blocked and work round the problem in another way. This usually means going around the person, either by finding someone else, or by finding a weakness in their strategy. It's a case for Machiavellian games, but not for letting them hurt you personally.

I have had this kind of situation loads of times in workplaces and I've never known a case of a stubborn and unhelpful person coming onside; they are like gatekeepers, and we just have to defeat them.

Also, when companies have too many gatekeepers, it's a bad sign about the company themselves. Why do they need the defences?

jmo, this workplace stuff is not your own issue, it's just work and your health comes first evert time IMHO.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen.