Wow, Simon, I understand your post so well.
I have never been able to have a relationship or date because of the sexual abuse I endured in my childhood.
I am 18 and many of my friends ask me why I don't date, or have any kind of relationship with men other than friends. I am unable to answer their questions, it is a fear I have, I am unable to open myself up in that way. It makes me feel vulnerable.

I do believe it is possible to move past it all, to learn to be okay with these things, it just takes time. As for the guilt you mentioned, I think it is common to feel it, I myself feel guilt all the time over what happened in the past.

I don't have much advice, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Things will get better, Keep fighting, like Capp said we are all survivors and we are all brave.