red, i hope you have a T to discuss this with. if the memories are surfacing you will need emotional guidance to deal with them. those of us who have experienced similar violations can understand your pain. these violations can make us distrustful of everyone. with help you can regain "self" and live again as all of god's children deserve to live. you are worthy and a person of value even tho the "messages" you have gotten from family members makes you feel otherwise.