you didn't LET things go too far.
you tried to stop things, but everything was going too fast, too wild, and it was scary.
Ending up here wasn't all your fault. Looking back, it's easy to say "If had just done this, all this wouldn't have happened!!!!" But it's easy looking back... we have all the knowledge of what will happen IF you did that.

As you see on the boards, I too have trouble blaming myself for what's been going on. It takes effort to accept that what's been happening is not all my fault. And from what I hear it's not all your fault either.

Rather than looking back, try to look at the situation at hand. Realize that even though its hard and scary, you can reach out and try to get better. You DO have more tools now, even if some of those tools are unwanted (*cough cough parents cough cough anyone else who found out things you don't want them to know cough cough*)
Try to think of them as people who can help you, and try to find a way to get better.