((((((((((((((( lmg )))))))))))))))))))))))

I think that I get what you are saying. While you are alone you see others in loving caring relationship and it makes you feel worse. Now you say that you feel like you can not get better without this kind of relationship, like you are stuck. Maybe now is the time to work on you and not worry about all that relationship stuff until you are in a better place. Do you have a T that can help you get through this, in the end it should make you more healthy person.

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense I think my sleeping pills just kicked in.