Hey. I realized that I misunderstood rather so I deleted my post. Sorry about that, can be crazy making when you respond to something only to be left wondering whether you imagined it...

It doesn't sound dumb to me... Doesn't sound dumb at all...

Not quite sure what it is about, though.

> Reconnect? that's a scary word - that implies a connection and for a long time I have made sure that I have not connected with anyone - not trusted anyone - I have stood alone and that way I relied on myself alone and would not be let down anymore - I trust more people now since therapy but connect? that's stil a scary word for me...

Yeah. I feel the same. Don't let anybody in and nobody will get hurt...

Sounds like you did let him in a little, though. And that was a major risk... And it really is such a shame that you can't keep working with him... Is there no way that that could happen at all?