First off, sorry that I'm creating posts so often. I hope no one minds. i like them in different posts because they're a bit... different? I dunno.

I booked a train ticket to go home exactly one week and 12 hours from now. It was hard. I had tears in my eyes.
I'm afraid of going home, especially of staying home, which might happen.
Part of me is giving up, wanting to give in and stay.

My bf gets overwhelmed when we talk about it, as do I. We've been living together and to be apart even for the 3 weeks of break was going to be hard. He's frustrated that I can't move on. I'm frustrated with my situation, just everything. I'm trying to get better, move on I really am. I don't know how I can at home. And I hope I can convince my parents of that.
PLUS I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COME HERE FOR HUGS AND SUPPORT during break/at home... parents seeing this... too much

I'm so down. I don't want to go home even for break. I've been so sad, sitting at my computer for like an hour procrastinating on getting the ticket. I just want to curl up and hide away