I asked my T today if it was ok if i bring something and give it to her instead of reading it. She said she wants me to read it aloud. Well, that's it. No journal excerpts in therapy. She also asked why i don't want to read what i bring and I said that reading equals speaking. She said it does not. I said for me it does. We excahnged a few more questions and answers on why reading equals speaking for me and what would be different if she read it, and then i moved to some distant foggy place and didn't come back.

I took my cell and looked through sent text messages, it looks that i have sent her a message "i want next appt to be the last". And I found another message in drafts folder, that says "please cancel my next appt". Yeah... nice... what do i do next?..