i came home to find him shivering on the sofa the other day, he had convinced himself cameras were watching him inside and thought it a good idea to try sleeping during a heavy snowfall in a snow ditch he managed to twist his arm too.

this new clinic looks great and we got to tour it today. i was really surprised he agreed to tour it, with how things have been, and i was proud to see that. we went out for some iced coffee after, which was nice.

i see him sad and it makes me feel so helpless, though. he told me over coffee that he felt alone because he "knows he won't be understood". he then said that it was okay that he had no friends, and not to feel bad for him, people would only hurt him anyways. i can't bear to see him like this. i think i need a friend too, my friends often only seem like my friends on a very superficial level.

his birthday is in a week and he seems nervous for it. i really hope he'll accept this clinic- i don't want to watch him fall apart when i can't seem to help. i KNOW a clinic would help him, and help me, because he'd be helped.



i'm not in great shape, this generally isn't a good month for either of us, but at least i suppose we made a little progress today with the clinic tour it's been a long week and thank goodness tomorrow is friday. i need a long rest but i still can't seem to get it.