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Dec 11, 2008, 07:00 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: east of the sun, west of the moon
Posts: 2,259
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dear nowheretorun,
you have expressed some ideas i've never heard verbalized before. i'm not totally sure i really "get" what you are saying, except i certainly can see finding a place inside myself to stay safe and calmer and protect myself in this place. i never thought i could draw anyone into there with me, especially someone feeling cold or hostile toward me. i do understand the incredible power of forgiveness. it still amazes me that forgiving someone can actually set me and then sometimes even set them free (not always).
i feel very hurt by my spouse's attitude and frustrated by his continuing to take some parts of the past to use as weapons in the now. things a person does that really bother me are almost always things i TOO am doing. so i need to spend some time praying to be enabled to see where i may be doing exactly what is bumming me out with my spouse! i have to smile when i remember how my jaw literally dropped the first time i realized that the things that anger me the most in other people are negative traits i too possess, often in abundance! right now i am very annoyed that my guys is using things i said 15 years ago like i am still doing the exact same thing AND i often get stuck in my past abuse history and let it affect the way i choose for and live my life. i let past pain and fear control me when it has been over 25 years since my last episode of sexual violence. so i MUST forgive phil for using my past words against me. he is just getting stuck and needs help "getting past his past".
i'm going to need to re-read your words a few more times and make sure i actually understand what you are saying. thank you for your contribution!
leslie and pixies----> you!
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 HEALING HAPPENS
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