tgrsPurr: i'm understanding you. i have situations inside my family that have been there for years and years...i'm determined to peel away some layers and try to become comfortable with them and with myself. i've walled myself off from the hurt and i'd like to get to a space of forgiveness that really works...not the piece meal forgiveness that you mentioned..it doesn't work if i don't forgive all....thank you so much for opening my eyes to myself and my need to fully forgive...xoxo pat