welcome to our community, pp21!! 
you stated that your mom has felt depressed for quite a while before her mom died. she might benefit by seeing a pdoc for depression or at least a diagnosis if there is any. sometimes life throws up situational depression. i don't know if this is her case or not but if you are worried about your mom, it's worth looking into.
you sound like a loving daughter and i hope this works out for both of you. keep posting if it helps you cause we all support each other in the best way we can. we are always here for you and your mom. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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