Thanks Skeksi, I have stepped back into the storm, racing thoughts, sadness, what ifs and if only's - sad sad sad sad - weak and pathetic..... reliving moments I cant change - pointless - wanting to run and hide - but I cant hide from me - there is no escape from me - shoulds...I should be better by now - I shouldnt have let this affect me - I should know better than to say should! - I've been attacked before - why did this time affect me so - weak and pathetic and worthless and hopeless and sad. Maybe if I sleep tonight it will be ok - work tomorrow - have to put this back in its box for work - put all those feelings away....... till I get home..........must stop whinging I see people everyday who are worse off than me -physically broken - I help fix them but I am having trouble fixing me.

Thankyou for your answer - its good to know there is a voice in the darkness. I am just scared that's all -and im old enough to know better P7