Simon, all of us had interrupted emotional development because of the things that happened to us/our unhealthy environments. We all got to adulthood and found ourselves as 4 year olds, etc. emotionally. We can all heal and catch up developmentally with our emotions.

Also it sounds like you might need to work on your personal boundaries so that you can feel that you can protect yourself around others. When a child is sexually abused what they learn is that anyone can do anything to you and you are powerless to stop it. Yes, as children but not as an adult. These powerless feelings of that 10 year old need to be dealt with so that the adult that you are today can take over.

I'm really glad that I have met you here Simon!