oh! your details get mixed up in my head! : )
anyway, i had a therapist before... i was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia. i stopped seeing her because the medicine was too expensive. i wish i have good relationship with anyone. but sadly, i think i never had any. i'm afraid to trust and become close with anyone. i don't know why. but maybe i just don't want them to know the real me. and i think everyone's capable of hurting me. i am a type of person who can't accept a painful truth. i honestly admit that. i am very sensitive. and i am afraid also, that i might hurt anyone because of being too close. every time i make a mistake, i'd think tthere's always somebody who's going to punish me or accuse me, or embarrass me. if i tell a friend about these irrational feelings they usually react passively. i'm always making relationships unmeanigful. i am making others more upset with me.
....