i read your blog entries for up to/about 2 weeks back. i hope i am interpreting correctly what you are saying. do you have to put on the masks each/most day(s)? for me, that would be so exhausting physically and mentally. if you feel this is necessary, what are you trying to not express? you asked if our actions are "just attempts at disguising our ongoing weariness". if you do feel this heaviness of spirit i am sorry that you are feeling this way about yourself. we always seem to be so much harder on ourselves than others seem to be.
sometimes when i'm feeling down i give myself permission to take a "mental health day". i don't do anything i don't want to do for the whole day. i've even done this for up to a 4 day period.(!!) the way i manage that is, i make an agreement with self that by day # i will reemerge back in the main frame of living. meanwhile i give myself permission to indulge in soothing my spirit. i have learned how to not feel guilty about being a bum for whatever time i've allowed myself. that was difficult at first because i demanded so much of myself, felt how ridiculous it was that i couldn't just be "strong", etc. so it required practice on my part to just let things go for a while. the benefits of this exercise allowed the guilt to melt away.
i don't know if you have tried something like this but it seems to me that perhaps some of your "weariness" might dissapate if you allowed yourself time to take off your mask. just food for thought, IMHO.
thanks for feeling safe enough to express how you are feeling. when i do that it helps me a lot to just let the steam out of my pressure cooker and dispurses those negative powers runminating in my mind.
know that you can start your day over whenever you like!