week 2 out of 3 weeks of intake assessment, apparently. she said she will work with me more likely than not. somewhat reassuring, i guess.

she said that she has a supervisor who is an analyst and that she talks to them about my case. i think that was meant to be reassuring. it is somewhat. i could tell she had being talking to someone:
- she asked about self-harm (yes, probably a good idea to assess risk with someone who mentions borderline personality)
- she gave me her card with the crisis number on back (yes, probably a good idea see above also cards can help with object constancy)
- she said it was amazing that i am doing my PhD given that i'd been basically independent from 14 (yup, emphasizing and encouraging strengths is a pretty good move, too)
sigh.
i guess its a good thing.

feeling... like i'm very much seeing a person in training. she doesn't have her repertoire of open questions and slightly more directive questions yet. still, some therapists never manage to sort that one out, so i suppose she is doing okay. she is fairly self-conscious about it in a way that most experienced therapists are not. even if experienced therapists don't manage to sort that one out they still develop this air of 'what is your problem' rather than 'how can i alter the way i'm asking'. i... wouldn't be terribly surprised if i'm only about the 1st or 2nd or possibly 3rd person who she has seen for therapy. really... it really is striking me like that. still... i suppose that is okay. it is mostly that i need someone to talk to for support and i'd rather a training p-doc than a training clinical psychologist or counselor so that is okay...

does feel like that, though. i guess thats okay, though. for now. glad i have p-doc back home...