First of all, welcome to pc. I'm glad you've found us. I'm also glad you started therapy. He served two tours in Iraq, and he's so young. It's possible he saw this as his chance to "live" before being "tied down". Definately not saying it's right in any way at all. You said he won't consider counselling? Because PTSD is always a possiblity with our vets. I know you have to be hurting so bad and getting these texts from "her" are hurtful and childish on her part. Can you block the number? You should not have to deal with that. You said you had had an important message about drill for him? Is he still reserves? If he changed his number, you are not his answering service..."I'm sorry, he doesn't live here anymore." You don't need to put yourself through that. It sounds like he really needs to work on somethings he's burying and not being honest about. Try to believe you are doing the right thing by insisting he cut ties with these people, get tested and start counselling. As far as wanting to get over him like he has gotten over you--it doesn't sound like he has really gotten over you and you can't just turn your love on and off like a switch...it will take some working through and some hurt, hon. I'm so sorry for you having to go through this.