"communication is the beginning after we have determined our personal needs/wants"

Damn... abcd fghijklmnop you can see th key that is not working wll. grat. Wll, what will i do without that lttr???? >=(

Meh... i wantd to say that myabe this is whr w ar running into troubl - if w don't know our needs or wants.... than we can't really fill them. ok i can get an e if i hit the button like 7 times. grrrrrrrrrr.
Sunrise, i was talking about being at home with mom.... mom already infringes on my boundaries ALL the time. If I comment on it or make waves, she laughs at me or ridicules me.
So, i got a new vacuum because our house was clearly "sent for and never made it" and have been vacuuming everything i can reach - dust, cobwebs, you name it... well, with mom's permission, i entered her room *my e key is working in case you were wondering* and started vacuuming just the main walkway - everything else is incased in junk. Then i saw how much dust was on her window seals and all over and wanted to show her the attachements and get all that dust up - so i did. Meanwhile she's lok OK you're done. Leave. No more. but said it kinda laughing because it was funny that i all of a sudden want to vacuum and she won't unless everything else is PERFECT - which will *never* happen.
This is where T stopped me. "You didn't leave when your mom told you to leave". F***. I mean, really - it was joking around. T said no - you have no boundaries either. *rolls eyes*. you KNOW when someone is joking with you - mom was TOTALLY joking with me. This is where i shut up for the rest of the night. Well, mostly. I did recognize and acknowledge at this point that when I set a boundary, I do not laugh about it. And mom laughs right over it and steps beyond it. So T saw that this had really upset me (as did her telling me I have no boundaries, becuase really I am more likely to do nothing rather than walk over someones' boundaries).

T also reminded me that I am not ok with her and my other dr's (all at the same clinic) talking and because of that I said "I feel like I have no boundaries here". So t starts naming off boundaries, saying "we use them from the time we walk into a room". She listed *how close you stand to someone, *if you talk to them, *where you sit in the lobby, *if you acknowledge someone or not, *if you make it obvious that you are going to read your book instead, ... she listed boundaries with her i can have; how close she sits to me to look at art or talk to me, or sit on the couch with me or have a hug or not...
I am not remembering others. This is where my head was saying "Yeah, but those aren't REAL boundaries!!!" I mean - those to me are not boundaries, they are ... i dunno... personal issues maybe. So then we had to talk about WHY i don't think those are real. *sigh*. And on those things, i follow what others do; if some one talks to me, i talk to them. If someone stands near me, i will stand near them. However, if I don't like them, i will walk away. ("Kiya, this is a very clear boundary"). Hmmm. To me it is just "I don't like you, go away." And often those people won't take the hint and come closer. "Kiya, then you have to make more of a boundary statement and get rude - because they are being rude." Totally confused.