I can somewhat relate to you even though I have't officially been diagnosed with BPD. I have been told that I do show borderline coping skills and that I would need to be evaluated further. All I can say is that I have/am still feeling the same things you have listed. I don't have many friends because I've seemed to push them all away even though I don't realize it. I just wanted to let you know I feel the same things you're feeling.