Simon,

The living members of my immediate family know who my primary sexual abuser was. Their children know I was abused, but do not know by whom. It would serve no useful purpose to tell them.

It goes like this...my father's best friend abused me for years. He eventually became my sister's father-in-law and naturally my neice and nephew's grandfather. I will never tell them--even though they are adults now. There isn't a good healthy reason for them to know any details. All anyone needs to know is that I was violated and I bear various scars because of it.

This evil man is buried in the plot next to my father, as close as if they're side by side. I assert the irony here emphasizes that we human beings are enmeshed in forces beyond our comprehension and control. Part of my journey is honest comprehension of what, when and how. I like to think of his resting place as eternal punishment for what he did to me!

I share this hoping it enlightens your pathway to healing. You are well on your way. Bless your sensitive soul.

notz