Sophia, I'm sorry about your friend. How did you meet him? What did you learn from him that you can hold on to? I don't want to take anything away from your need to grieve for him and work though what you are feeling.

You probably know about resources like vocational rehabilitation, right? You can find things that you will be able to do. And there are people out there who will help you. How about communication systems? You probably know about assistive technology and stuff that you can use to be able to communicate. I just wanted to make sure you know that there are options, even if they are not perfect.

I'm sorry that you have this disability and you are doubting yourself. Even if they don't have the same disability, maybe you could find other people with disabilities who are overcoming them, and develop some new role models and mentors. And then be a role model for someone else, because you can overcome this too.