Dear Lulu,
He is abusive. Like all abusers he blames his victim (you, I'm sorry to say) for their own abuse. It is a big lie. There is nothing wrong with you that makes him mistreat you. The problem lies within him. I'm sorry, but no matter what changes you make the abuse will continue because it is not you in the first place that makes him abusive. At this point, no matter how it plays out in the future, you need to separate yourself from him now. In the phone book, you should find some services for battered women (verbal abuse is sometimes more destructive than the physical abuse)--see if there is a hotline that you can call and talk to someone who understands battering and can help you do what you need to do. If he's convinced you that you are the problem--not him--and that no one could ever love you and you'll be alone the rest of your life without him--DO NOT BELIEVE HIM--that's a big fat lie that every abuser tells. Get out of there for your child's sake and your own. You don't "deserve" this and either does your child. Call that hotline for counseling and support. Don't hesitate because he hasn't hit you yet, or you don't believe it's bad enough to call a hotline--it is. And the hotline is there to help women who are being abused--verbally or physically. Abuse is abuse. Take care of yourself and your child and get some help. Strength to you.
madmattie








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