Yes this is a painful thing...I had an incident in therapy yesterday where I was struggling with something and T didn't seem to be "acting" the role I have always been accustomed to growing up, you know like family of origing making a drama out of a crisis and then I'd feel all hurt and misunderstood and would revert to self pity, because that was the only way I could get any kind of caring from my own generated self pity and I wanted, of course on an unconsious level for T to make a drama out my crisis so the self pity could kick in...and was I angry for a while until I'd found the courage to let go of that old behaviour and really believe that T is doing this because in the long run its the best way forward for me...it took work to let go and to see that underneath the old behaviours and believes, a new one has to grow and that is that no matter what i "THINK", what I am going through is painful and T does appricate that and she is there for me, but she wont be there in the way my family of origin use to be...shes teaching me to live as an adult, which will be so much more easier then the pain I experience at times from the stunted emotional child that lives within me....so though it seems uncaring when our issues are normalised, its actually the kindest act they can do for us...as painful as our wounded inner child feels it to be!