Hey turquoise,

Hope you're doing ok. I'd agree with the above advice about concentrating on yourself first and the therapy etc sounds like a good start. The truth is that depression does put a LOT of strain on intimate relationships, especially when you're living together... I've been there - last year my depression crashed to new lows which really impacted negatively on my relationship with my bf. The good news is, it is survivable, but it doesn't happen overnight.

I'm not sure if this is the same for you, but the biggest problem I had was expecting my bf to magically fix things and make me happy and take the pain away, just because he was there at the time and saw me at my lowest. He's a great guy, and tried his best, but everyone has a limit and he did snap a couple of times, leading to me getting worse at some points. However, I was doing the therapy thing as well as on meds, and once I realised that it was my responsibility to sort myself out, things improved. The relationship was still under strain, although not so much after that. Good coping tips you might like to try out- in addition to therapy etc, try finding a few outlets for your feelings so that some of the time you have together with your bf is happy time. I mean things like talking to other friends for support, music, exercise, journalling... that kind of cathartic process that can sometimes make the pain go away for a little while at least.

Also don't beat yourself up about it too much (both literally and figuratively!) - just keep trying and you'll succeed one day. If this is the guy for you, he'll be around when you get through this, but right now your focus must be on yourself - it's the only way to get better.