all ill say is, be careful. it requires alot of trust (tom must trust me :P) but yeh, you need to trust that you can be safe with them.
also, like with tom, there are things i cant do. i would never humiliate tom as a part of BDSM because i dont think it would do him any good.
some people have the RIGHT mindset to do things and some people have the wrong one. i believe some are masochists because they believe theyre bad or crap or not a good person. this is apposed to enjoying being disciplined, and this would be a worry. so yep. play around, but play safe. communication is vital. you need to make sure both of you are comfy with it, and safety words or gestures are vital. especially with people like me (even with 'normal' sexual behavior) seeing as some people find it hard to say no or stop.