|
Today as I sit here at the computer thinking of my son Daniel my mind tries to focus...still a blurr most of the time. Recently I received the autopsy report..the answers were shown..cause of death...medication reaction and his diagnosis of chronic schizophrenia.
Things that would occur with him didn`t make sense for a while and he often kept all of his suffering to himself...it makes me so sad when I think of how much he kept inside. By the time he did open up about the frightening things he would hear and feel, this disease had progressed to a constant torment level.
I tell myself of his happier years and try to think of what his life would have been like if he could have been the history teacher or musician he wanted to be...I`m thankful for the 18 years he was given to me.
For others out there who are dealing with this horrible disease my hope is for you to be able to prevent unfortunate death due to common coping mechanism of self medicating that occurs frequently with schizophrenia.
It has been almost 4 months now,but,feels like yesterday. Tomorrow`s candle ceremony with other parents across the world will be a welcome event...I hope my son will see it from heaven....thank you for this site...it helps a lot...
From a mom who misses her son so much....
|