Hi Ginniesky,

Beautiful name.

I love horses . They are magnificient creatures and I'll bet you are also . They can't continue to gallop or wave thier gourgoes manes if they eat only a couple of muffins a day.

I do understand not wanting any help. I wanted to keep doing what I was doing . Ten years of doing it my way . Thats a long time . When I finnally decided I wanted a better life like others were having I found I couldn't trust. I feared that if I asked for help they would NOT let me find my own way. What did happen was when I did ask for help was surprising .No one locked me into a stable or placed a harness on me like I was afraid of .

I got to make those choices for myself .

No one can or cannot make you do anything, Ginniesky,

Unless it gets to the point where your life is at risk . Thats when a line is drawn because there are people who love you . The world would just not be the same with your missing piece of the puzzel.

For example Im still working on my stuff.
I currently have a clutter problem I'm strugling with .

I was just fantisizing today a what if situation. What if someone came swooping in and said I'm here to save the day. Were gonna clear out the clutter of your apartment so you can have a life.

{I'm still not letting love in Ginnysky but Im working on it. }

So back to the fantasy. LOL!!!!

First I thought . uhh no way Id let them see how Im living ( shame)

second . Its my life my stuff . I wouldn't want someone to just come in hand cuff me and say .

"too bad. this is gonna happen."

plus it wouldn't help me in the future if I got stuck again.

I needed the freedom to deside and do the hard work ..

For me.

What is it you need Ginney?
assurance your beautiful , smart talanted?
That your not fat but desirable ?

fear of not being able to harness the voracious hunger ?

and it IS voracious.

you tell me .

Ill be here.

and theres no way I can come get you.

Aurora