Fuzzy,

Sorry it took so long for me to get to this...these are all terrific questions.

I visited a few other mental health sites when I was first searching around the 'Net, but I haven't been anywhere but here in ages. I think this is far and away the best support site I've seen.

It's funny...I read LMo's list of things she did that she was told were enabling, and when I got to some of them, I thought, "That's not enabling!!!" The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it's not so much the behavior, but it's effect that defines enabling. The way I think about it, support makes it easier for someone to get better, and enabling makes it easier for them to stay sick. For instance, some disorders make it difficult to remember to take meds...so to leave that up to the person would actually make it very difficult for them to get well...in that case, making sure the person took his/her meds would be support. But if someone is struggling with autonomy, and has the ability to remember and take their meds as required, than maybe controlling that for him/her keeps them "dependent" and could be detrimental to recovery, making the very same action enabling. One thing that I think probably always consitutes enabling is making excuses for a person...this shelters a person from the consequences of his/her illness, which almost invariably keeps the person in a position where the illness is more comfortable than the recovery.

I have a friend whose sister-in-law is bipolar. One of the symptoms she has is that she cannot recognize when she is heading toward an episode. So, she and her husband made a deal that if he thinks she needs to go to the hospital, then she goes...it's totally up to him, not her. Now for someone else, this might be enabling...taking away the responsibility for one's own illness and treatment. But since her illness impairs her ability to make this decision, it is support for her. Anyway, have I rambled enough? : )

You also asked about making this site more recovery oriented. I think the tone of the site has a lot to do with what people happen to be posting about. So, the best way to make the site more recovery-oriented is to ask more questions geared toward recovery. There is one specific thing I had talked about with some people, but never really did anything about. I have a very good workbook on self-esteem, but it's sometimes kind of hard to discipline myself to work through the exercises all on my own. If people would be interested, we could work through them together, either here on the forums, or in chat. Anyone who might be interested could either reply here or PM me.

Thanks for the very thought-provoking post, Fuzzy! : )
*hugs*
mj