thank you all for ur replies and support...
i wish i knew what to say but i am at a loss of words..
just know i appreciate each and everyone of you...
it is so hard for me...ive never had such anger in my life..i just wish i knew what to do with it..i see my t tomorrow...i hope she can help me make some sense of all this...at first anger made me feel stronger if that makes any sense...but now it has begun to be overwhelming..again thanks for being here for me