I think the problem with being confused about boundaries can happen because we're confused about what's "allowed". We think other people are allowed to state what they like/don't like but we're not? If someone says, "I don't like people standing too near to me" we respect that but we wouldn't think of saying something like that ourselves because we're afraid people would think us strange or selfish or. . .

Boundaries are about telling other people about ourselves! But, if we don't admit to ourselves how we feel or don't "like" how we feel (don't like that person, don't trust that person, etc.) then we break down at the point where we should be communicating. My #1 saying for many years has been "I'm the right size, it's the pants that don't fit!" What you feel is what you feel and is 100% correct for you! You are allowed to not like someone else to stand too close even if you love to have a different someone closer! Your feelings are not a democracy!

But boundaries are just stating (and then enforcing) your feelings! "Go away, please, or I will" is a boundary! If it's your space, either emotionally or literally, you can push the other person away literally. It's only a degree difference question between someone attacking you with a knife and someone attacking you verbally! Your JOB is to protect yourself from their attack. Their job is to protect themselves and they are "allowed" to do it however they wish. So, someone saying, "I hate you, go away" is not being "rude" or "weird" or anything, they're saying, "YOU are over my boundary at this very moment, go away at this very moment". The "correct" response is not arguing but going away.

If you're underage, Kiya, your mother's boundary crossing is abuse, plain and simple. If you can't go away because you are a minor child, the adult needs to pay more attention. I'm not saying an adult cannot get angry and express how they feel, that is not abuse, that is everyone's right; to let others they are in relation with know how they feel in that relationship but being "in your face" literally, is a power thing and boundary crossing.

However, because other people cross our boundaries does not give us leave to cross theirs/other's. And if one is in an unequal relationship and there's boundary crossing; one merely figures out how to "get away" when one can.

I had a company vice president who verbally humiliated me in front of the whole office. Took me quite awhile to get over my hurt and pain enough to realize I was angry and to "plot" what to say and do next time he did that (tell him in no uncertain terms that if he did it again I'd quit ~ boundary crossings have to have consequences communicated or the person crossing won't take you seriously) and figure out a way to try to block his opportunity to do so again (I had volunteered to help him so figured out I would not try to help him anymore, would only have contact when approached by him).

I don't think boundaries are a one-time clear thing! They are different for EVERY relationship? I might like you or T or whomever to sit near but want my smelly coworker to sit further away? :-)

Our #1 job is to take care of ourselves so "rude" doesn't really matter. There are certainly tactful and more pleasant ways to get across one's needs than "Get away from me!" LOL but often some people are a bit thick-headed and need that statement! If you back up a step and they "follow" you have to say something! "Hey, can you please not stand so close, I'm far sighted and can't see you well when you're that close" ;-) and if they insist, then you excuse yourself and leave politely or put your hand on their chest and give a little backward shove to remind them (if you know them well enough) etc.

One shouldn't automatically decide another person is "teasing" with boundaries but ask a few times to make sure. "Did you really want me to leave now, Mom?" shows respect and care for the other person as well as shows you meant no harm if you did accidentally cross their boundaries; because, how are you supposed to know if you have crossed another person's boundaries if they don't tell you? AND, how is another person supposed to know if you don't tell them!