Arnt holidays suppose to be happy??? They havnt for me for a long time. I finally started seeing a pshyciatrist and to my surprise I find that I really like him and its easy to talk to him.. Despite the fact that hes a guy and I didnt think i would be able to talk to him because of my past childhood. But I can and I feel good when I leave his office. I started some new meds to. I told my husband that I wanted to seperate for awhile so I can try my best to fix me. We fight everyday and it hurts our kids. I just want to do it for awhile till I can sort through and get myself better our fighting dosnt help me at all.. But he said to me that if I want a seperation then its over for good. I dont know what to do. I have such conflicted feelings about it. I really want the seperation for my kids and to help me, but how do I move on and just drop 10 years of my life?? Were not happy and really havnt been for so long but I feel like I half to be with him I half to keep my family togeather.. I just dont know what to do.