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Dec 14, 2008, 11:25 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: east of the sun, west of the moon
Posts: 2,259
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sadly me, you are in a very bad place emotionally, financially and socially. i am very sorry that things are this bad for you. when it happens during the holidays that just seems to make the bad feel awful and what bothers seems much worse.
your little has been saying some things that hint at really, really bad stuff, scary stuff like overdosing medicine and wanting to die and be an angel, self-injury, financial issues leading to water being turned off and worries about the basics of life being un-available. PLEASE do not ignore these warning signs of how bad things are getting for you.
if you haven't done it please start looking for financial assistance from city, state or church groups. you do need help and i hope will not feel embarrassed to take help. i know your little said you lost friends due to issues and others do not want to be involved in your "dwama" as she puts it. some folks can't or won't be able to handle the reality of your issues and wounds and needs, but there are people who are willing to help. please use them. i'm willing to bet that if you had money and saw someone with your kind of needs you would reach out and help them, right? FOR NOW, y ou may need to take and be the needy one until things get better. if you will do the healing work of counseling you will be able to be the giver some time - maybe even pretty soon. do whatever it takes to make it through, please. please call any available crisis line when you get desperate enough to take 8 klonopin. that may not be enough to kill you, but it sure is NOT good for you. they will help you think it through more clearly.
leslie and her pixie pals  sadly me
to sadly me's little: it will get better, it takes time and it seems slow, but it will get better sooner or later. please do NOT obey any voice in your mind who says to take too much medicine or to do anything that will worry people about you.
when you feel like scratching take out the crayons and draw colors and shapes for your feelings. when i want to scratch i feel like big black scribbles and scratchy purple and red marks. u can use any shape or picture to show your feelings.
PRAYER is talking to God like he is right there in the room wif you. you can think of him sitting right beside you, then you tell him all that is inside of you that worries or hurts you. you can just ask him to take care of you and he will help you. God is always good and will always help when we have problems. He always loves small children and big ones and God hates bad peoples behavior when they hurt children.
even littles can make good choices and they can let God help them. me and my littles got to go now. we only got 4 hours sleep last night because there was a break in at the church my husband attends and we helped clean up. i'm glad no one was hurt, but we don't have much money at the church and people trying to rob it is not ok!!!
my pixies and i are sending you both big, gentle hugs if you want them. take GOOD care of you.
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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